The Road Worth Traveling

Love can be a long road. We start it with such fervor, idealism and a touch or two of magical thinking, but we’re so human. To love someone well is much more than attraction and excitement and romance. We disappoint each other, confuse each other, and frustrate each other. Our vision is wonky. We see our reasoning and actions as clear and just while our spouses are surely inaccurate and selfish. And all around we see marriages shipwrecked on the rocks of adultery, neglect, and countless other sorrows.

Romance ideals abound and are enthroned in movies and commercials and carefully crafted instagram pictures. They exist as steady reminders that we fall short of that ideal, and we can walk away from these altars discontent, disillusioned, and even angry. But sometimes life shows us something that sparks hope. That gives us a beautiful picture of what can await us on this long road if only we will strive for it, and not lose hope. There exists, outside of that world of perfect faces, bodies and words, normal people who have learned to love each other well. And they leave us a beautiful legacy to follow and from which to draw inspiration.

* * *

Arms draped casually over the back of their chairs, their hands clasped each other’s. “It’s been a wonderful journey”, he said gazing affectionately at his wife of decades. She smiled lovingly back and agreed, “Yes, it has.”

We were honored to have our pastor and his wife over for dinner. The conversation covered a range of topics but it was this interaction that profoundly affected me. Here was a marriage that had weathered life’s storms and yet carried no signs of tense tolerance, veiled annoyance, or apathy. In one glance I could see they had build something beautiful. They had practiced forgiveness and communication and strove faithfully towards the same goal. I saw in that evanescent moment the prize worth fighting for. Love – deep and time tested, life-giving and inspirational. I think of it often.

It’s taken on a more painful sweetness as our pastor succumbed this last week to a recently diagnosed brain tumor. I picture that moment – hands clasped and reminiscing on their journey together, unaware that the next year would divide their paths. This thought saddens me, but I know the right response to it.

The right response is to love my husband well. Today. To see the long road as one well worth traveling – even if it passes through the shadows. My goal has become to be able to look affectionately at my husband of decades and agree that it has been a wonderful journey.

* * * *

Thank you Pastor Art, and thank you Naomi, for showing us what real love looks like. May the God of all peace continue to uphold and sustain you.